With Every Beat of my Heart
by joblair80
Summary: DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters, the show or anything related to the show. Any names used in this are made up any similarities are purely coincidental. THIS IS FEMSLASH. Female/Female romance. Thank you for reading. Jo and Blair have growing feelings for one another, but will they be able to tell each other before graduating and going their separate ways?
1. Chapter One

"Ugh." Blair slammed her trigonometry book shut and groaned aloud to no one in particular. "I don't understand any of this material!"

Ms. Muldune, the school librarian, better known as 'Moose Jaw Muldune' glared at Blair from behind her bifocals that seemed to make her pale, grey eyes appear even larger. She held up a plump finger to her lips.

Blair mouthed a half-hearted 'sorry' and sighed deeply. She knew she needed to study, but she just couldn't help drifting into her thoughts. She looked at her surroundings. The Eastland library was beautiful and she was so happy that her family's legacy, although slightly tarnished, was a part of it. She was glad her grandfather's money went to good use, to something worthwhile.

Blair smiled.

The debutante wasn't as shallow as she appeared to be. She had many layers. "_Yeah like an onion." _She could hear her roommate, Jo quip. She chuckled lightly.

As if on cue, a sporty brunette plopped into the chair across from Blair, producing a loud, 'thud'. Blair was still daydreaming and didn't notice her, although Ms. Muldune did.

"Sssh!"

Jo ignored the grumpy librarian and turned her attention to the girl in front of her.

Jo snapped her fingers. "Hey, Blondie. You over there thinkin' about that weenie, Bink Parker again?" she joked. Blair finally snapped out of her reverie and glared at Jo, pretending to be more annoyed with her than she actually was.

"Very funny."

"So I heard ya over here talkin' ta yaself and -"

Blair stared at her . "I was _not_ talking to myself. A Warner would never do-"

Jo cut her off. " Whateva Blair, anyway do ya need help with your trig homework?" Blair looked grateful, but cautious. Jo noticed. She held her hands up, defensively. "Hey, no catch. Just didn't wanna hear ya complain' like last time. Ya went on for days."

Blair feigned offense, gasped, and brought a perfectly manicured hand up to her ample bosom. "I did no such thing, Jo. I simply stated that a Warner is-"

"Held to a higher standard than the rest of us and that your father would be upset, and blah blah blah." Jo finished. "You went on forever."

"I wasn't that bad."

"You were a nightmare. That's all you would talk about for hours, about how you would disgrace the Warner name and ruin your 'perfect' image."

Blair gave up. There as no arguing with Jo. She nodded. "You're right, you're right. Perhaps I was a _bit_ bothersome."

Jo chuckled. "Yeah, a bit." She shook her head, still smiling. This was as good as "owning up" was going to get with Blair.

Jo stared at her roommate. Blair was beautiful, this was no secret. But what was a secret was just how much Jo agreed with this fact. Jo didn't even realized she was staring so intensely at the heiress or how far she had drifted off into her nostalgic daydream about the first time she and Blair had crossed paths three years before.

She remembered it like it was yesterday.

**September 1980**

Jo pulled up to Eastland on her 1977 Kawasakiki kz100. '_Oops.' _She thought as she ran over some flowers.The brunette hopped off her bike and looked around. '_The school isn't as fancy as I thought. Sure it's more than I'm used to, but it's not that big of a deal like I thought it would be.' _ She shrugged and strutted through the door. Appearing to be more confident than she actually felt. When she walked in she noticed three people standing in the middle of the cafeteria. A beautiful, curvy, well dressed blonde, a pretty plump girl with rosy cheeks, and a redheaded older woman. They were clearly just talking about her, by the way were staring her. '_My loud exhaust musta scared 'em.' _She thought with a chuckle. She was tired of the staring contest, so she spoke. "Is this where I'm supposed to be?" she asked.

The blonde spoke up and pointed opposite the way Jo had entered. "Delivery boys, use the rear entrance." Jo was both amused and offended by the mistake.

Suddenly realizing she still had on her motorcycle helmet, she removed it shaking out her brown ponytail. "Delivery boy? Ha, Gimme a break. Is this where I'm supposed to check in?"

The blonde was stunned. She laughed, almost nervously, Jo noticed. "I don't believe this." she said, realizing her mistake.

The other girl spoke up. "_You _don't? I was gonna ask him to the fall dance!"

Jo had enough and held up her hand as if to strike her, but her eyes stayed on the blonde.

Finally the redhead spoke up, "You must be the new student, Jo."

"Yeah, how'd ya know?"

"Well, I've never seen a motorcycle parked in my flowerbed before."

Jo felt bad, but didn't dare show it. She shrugged. " I thought they were weeds." and walked past them, taking in her surroundings.

The blonde girl gave Jo a once over, stopping at her derriere. Once she realized where her eyes had rested, she tried to play it off, hoping no one noticed. So she made a crude comment about the Jo's jeans which caused Jo to threaten her. Once again, the school dietitian interfered.

"Don't hit a total stranger, introduce yourselves first!"

She nudged the blonde, who reluctantly extended her hand. "Blair Warner." she said shortly. She wasn't sure if she liked this girl. She didn't know how she felt about her. It was strange. She did know she had never met anyone like Jo. Jo felt the exact same way about the Blair, she also downplayed her feelings with sarcasm as she offered her hand. "Gloria Vanderbilt." Suddenly Blair jerked her hand back. Jo knew why, that's why she didn't shake the other girl's hand during their introduction.

Jo continued to taunt Blair. "Ooh, your hand's dirty. Better go have it steam cleaned or somethin'."

This time Blair had enough. She took a step forward. "Why you little-"

Jo decided. She liked her, _for now_. This chick had guts for a girly girl. She was just never going to admit that. To anyone. Ever.

Mrs. Garrett intervened once more, but not for the last time. "Your room assignments are on the board. Go see who you're bunking with."

Natalie and Blair hurried off into the lounge, excitedly to see who they were going to be rooming with. Although she was curious, Jo acted cool on the surface._ 'Never let 'em see ya sweat.' _She thought. When they reached the bulletin board in the lounge. Blair scrunched up her face, in confusion or disgust. No one could be sure. She read the name aloud.

"Joanne Pol-knee-a-zek." she and Natalie laughed. "Does she come with an interpreter for that name?

Their laughs were cut short when a menacing looking Jo came toward them. Natalie moved out of the way, fast. "It's Pol-nia-czek"

Blair was in complete and total disbelief that this was happening to her.

"_You?" _

Jo held up a fist. "Yeah and I got your interpreter right here. Nobody jokes about my name."

Blair was nervous, but kept her composure as she hurled an insult right back at Jo.

"They really don't have to. There's enough laughs in the way you look and act."

Jo stepped closer.

Mrs. Garrett stepped in between them and spoke to Natalie, whom everyone almost forgot was in the room.

"Natalie, why don't you show Jo a better place to park her motorcycle."

Jo, feeling the need to prove herself had to have the last word. "Why don't I just park it on Blair's face?" As she walked away, she had a slight smile on her face. She knew this was going to be interesting. And it was. Later that day Jo met Tootie and since then the four girls had been through so much together. They stole the school van, got arrested for sneaking in a bar and even ended up rooming together above the kitchen to pay off the debt for the damages to school property. Tootie said it was gonna be 'some kind of semester'.

'_And it was.'_ Jo thought to herself, smiling, still lost in her daydream about the debutante. She had forgotten where she was and of her present company who was now looking at her as if she arrived from another planet.

Blair waved a hand in front of Jo's face and then snapped her fingers.

"Earth to Jo, can you hear me? Hey Polniaczek!"

Jo snapped out of her daydream and looked at Blair, now blushing a deep crimson.

Blair noticed.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, genuinely interested.

Jo shook her head

"Nothin'. she cleared her throat, nervously. "Nothin'. So you need help with your trig or what?"


	2. Chapter Two

Jo sat on her bed, thinking. That seemed to be all she could do anymore, it was like she couldn't turn her brain off. All she could think about was graduation, getting out there and starting life, and... Blair.

Blair.

It always came down to Blair. No matter how much she irritated her, Jo just had a soft spot for Blair. It scared her because she couldn't figure out why. She just knew that she cared for Blair in a way that she didn't care for anyone else. Jo sighed heavily and laid back on her plain, brown bedspread and stared up at the ceiling. She knew she needed to talk to Blair, but about what exactly? She needed to sort out her feelings alone before she could even begin to express them to Blair. Jo wasn't sure _what _she felt. All she knew is that it was different than anything she'd ever experienced. Just then the bedroom door swung open.

"I know he's gorgeous, Nat. But he's a jerk and- Jo! Hey what's up?"

Jo jumped up as if she had been caught doing something illegal. Which her growing feelings for Blair almost felt against the law, against nature.

"Er- nothin', Tootie. Just um- Where's B-Blair?"

Natalie raised an eyebrow, eyeing her friend suspiciously. Something was up. Jo didn't stutter and act all flustered.

"We're not sure, she said she had to go somewhere important." Natalie answered, still curious about Jo's odd behavior.

"I think she was going to meet a boy." Tootie said dreamily. " I think it was that guy from Bates, Michael Sampson. She has been _dying_ to get her hands on him."

Jo shifted. Natalie, being a nosy journalist, took notice. She decided to keep it going to poke around a bit.

"Yeah, he's quite the stud." Natalie added. "Blair is just gaga over him."

Jo tried not to react. It was killing her inside. She was used to Blair having dates and such, but since she started seeing her roommate in a different light, it was getting increasingly difficult to pretend these dates didn't bother her. So she did what she did best. Hid her feelings with insults.

Jo shrugged. "Blair is gaga over anything with nice hair and a trust fund." She laid back on her, holding back her tears.

Tootie, being a little naive, laughed. Natalie, however, noted a subtle hint of hurt in the Bronx native's voice._ Does Jo have a thing for Michael? _Natalie thought to herself, thinking back to the costume party when she and Blair came in fighting over him. _That's why she seems so distant. Jo's in love! _Natalie had no idea just how wrong she was nor how right she was.

**Meanwhile at La Maison **

Michael Sampson was tall, athletic, blonde hair, blue eyes. Every teenage girl's dream, or so Blair thought. She couldn't understand why she wasn't having a good time. She had waited for _months_ to be able to have this opportunity to have Michael take her out. But something was missing, he lacked certain... qualities. _Oh no. _Blair realized. _I'm doing it again. Finding something wrong with __**every **__guy I go out with. But why? _Blair thought. _Why am I sabotaging every relationship I get into? _

"Blair? Hello, Blair?"

"Um, wha-yeah?"

"So what did you think?"

Blair wasn't sure what Michael was referring to, so she just assumed he meant dinner. "Oh, it was wonderful."

Michael frowned. "Blair, you haven't heard a word I've said. Have you?"

Blair lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Michael. Look it's-"

Michael held up his hand. "Listen, Blair. If you're not interested, that's fine. Just tell me, but please don't tell me, that's it's not me, it's you. That's insulting."

Blair nodded.

"Are you ready to go?" Michael said, clearly irritated that the evening didn't go as planned.

Blair was silent.

"Whatever. Let's go."

Blair reached for her gold Gucci clutch purse, but Michael threw some money on the table to cover the dinner.

Blair kept her head down.

When they pulled into Eastland's parking lot. Blair finally spoke up. She turned to Michael. "Listen, I know you said that you didn't want me to say this. But it really is just my hang up. I've been doing this to everyone and I can't figure out why. I think I'm just scared of being in a relationship or something."

Michael just stared straight ahead, gripping the steering wheel.

Blair continued. "It really is just me. I promise you were a perfect gentleman."

When the young man finally spoke, his voice was cold. It unnerved Blair. "So what do I get?"

Blair frowned, not sure she was liking this question. But she had to know what he meant, exactly. "What do you _get_?"

"Yeah, what do I get?" He turned to look at her. "I took you out, paid for you dinner-"

Blair held up her hands, "Wait a minute, I tried to pay for my dinner, but you- Nevermind," she dug around in her purse for some cash. All she had was plastic.

"I'll pay you when I-" before she could answer Michael was climbing into the passenger seat, but Blair was quick. She somehow managed to knee him in the groin. "Just who do you think you are?"

"You owe me, Warner. Every guy at Bates knows about the famous, Blair Warner. Fast and easy."

Slap.

Blair didn't even think before making contact with his face, she was too enraged. After realizing what she had done, afraid of how he'd react, she jumped out of the car and ran to the door. She was so distraught after what happened, she didn't realize someone else was out there and bumped into them. She mumbled a "sorry" without even looking up and made her way into the school.

A girl stepped out the shadows and watched as Michael Sampson beat his steering wheel, cussing and then peeled off, clearly with a bruised ego and in a horrible mindset. This wasn't good. The girl glared at the '83 Porsche 944 speeding off. What a jerk. She had heard the entire argument. The only problem was how was Jo going to tell Blair that she had?


	3. Chapter 3

Jo was in the garage working on her bike. Usually anything involving her motorcycle could take Jo away to another world, but not this time. She was distracted. She decided to take a break before she ended up making a mistake and breaking her bike more than fixing it. She reached for a rag and tried wiping the grease off her hands as much as possible, grabbed her soda, and plopped down on the old tattered loveseat that was supposed to have been thrown out, but Jo was glad Mrs. Garrett never got around to it. Sometimes Jo wished she could spend most of her time in the garage. It had her bike, a loveseat, even a fridge and a tv that only had two channels, but it was still a little place that Jo could go to just breathe and be alone for a while.

However, today, it wasn't relaxing. She wasn't alone. Her thoughts were getting the best of her and her thoughts were completely consumed... by Blair.

She laid her head back and closed her eyes which were jerked open as soon as they closed because she felt a presence in the room. She lifted her head.

"Blair, hey-"

Blair looked downcast.

'Hey, what's wrong?" Jo stood up and walked toward her and started to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but quickly realized that she still had a lot of grease on her hands and pulled it away.

"Come sit down." Jo looked around and found an old, but, grease free, sheet. She laid it over the other side of the loveseat.

Blair sat down.

"Look, I won't force ya ta talk, but you'll feel a lot better if ya do."

Blair sniffed.

'_Oh no, she's crying. Do something, Polniaczek.' _ Jo was going crazy trying to figure out how to comfort her friend, 'mushy' wasn't Jo's strong point.

Blair finally spoke up, her voice, broken.

"D-do you think I-I'm-"

She sniffled.

"Do I think you're what, Blair?" Jo had never seen Blair cry. She'd seen her pout or whine to get her way, but this was different. Jo knew what it was about. That jerk, Michael Sampson.

"Do you think I'm...easy?"

Jo attempted to make the debutante laugh.

"No, you're the most difficult person I know, Blair. Heh." she weakly chuckled.

Noting the serious look that remained on Blair's face, Jo sobered.

"Listen, Blair. I know we fight, but I'm always here for ya. You can talk to me about anything."

Jo sighed deeply. She wanted to talk to Blair about this, but wasn't sure if Blair would feel embarrassed that Jo heard the altercation. She spoke up anyway.

"That was me ya bumped into the other night. I heard you arguing with that jerk."

Blair wiped her eyes quickly and fixed her facial expression.

"Ha, did you think that's what this was about? I'm _not _upset about that crude and uncouth, poor excuse for a gentleman."

Jo was stunned and a bit frightened as to how Blair could suddenly change from vulnerable to nonchalant in the blink of an eye.

"Blair-" Jo started, but Blair cut her off.

"This was a mistake. How about we keep this between us. Will a twenty do?"

Jo frowned.

"I don't want ya money. I'm not gonna tell anyone. But, Blair-"

Blair interrupted once again, by standing up.

"I have to go. Things to do, places to go, people to see."

"Blair you gotta talk ta somebody about this."

Blair waved a hand.

"I'm a Warner. I have a therapist on call. Besides, no one else cares that deeply about me or my 'problems'.

Jo started to grab her friend's arm, but decided to let it go. Blair just wasn't ready, she decided. It pained Jo to see Blair in so much pain and she felt powerless to stop it. If Blair couldn't talk to_ her _about it, who would she talk to? Everyone around school thought Blair was 'fast' and did whatever boys wanted her to. She was both 'admired' and 'hated' for it.

She watched the blonde walk away, her heart silently aching for her.

"Oh, Blair." she sighed. "If you only knew."


End file.
